I used to think that work-life balance was a destination; a milestone to reach, a goal to achieve and that once you had it, you kept it. Now I don't think that anymore - I have a new definition. To me, work-life balance now means working more when I want to and less when I need to.
I've always been a winter person, I love the cold and the grey and don't enjoy being too hot in summer but more recently (probably since starting a full-time career outdoors) I've found myself having more energy in the summer months when the sun is shining and a stronger urge than usual to hunker down and get cosy inside during the winter. Last year I heard about the concept of living in tune with the seasons, slowing down in winter, doing more in summer and I began to wonder how that might apply to my work.
I started running my business full time in December 2019, so the first two years were heavily impacted by the pandemic. Now that things are more normal, I'm seeing a definite seasonality to my business; for starters, there's a lot of pet sitting in the summer when people go on holiday! As a result, I've begun to embrace that seasonality and am on the verge of a very busy summer whilst looking forward to a quieter winter. And that fits in with my new found higher energy levels in the summer as well (working more when I want to) and the desire to nest in winter (less when I need to).
The other aspect that I've noticed about this seasonality is that with working harder in the summer, I am inevitably earning more money, which is handy because having more energy in the summer also means I want to do more things that cost money (like days out!) whereas in winter, I'm more interested in staying in and staying cosy.
I took the first week in April off and a new client asked me if I'd earned it. Not in a horrible way of course, but in a “Do you feel ready for your week off?” kind of way. My gut reaction was to reply with the standard "oh yes, I'm ready for this" but actually, I wasn't. For the first time in forever, I was taking a week off before I needed it and that felt strange. More than that, it felt self-indulgent, luxurious. And I felt guilty.
But I’ve been doing so much work on myself over the past 18 months that making myself feel guilty is old news now and within minutes I had turned that feeling on it’s head and replaced it with a far more pleasant one. For the first time in forever, I was taking a week off before I needed it and I felt proud of myself.
My client’s question of “Have you earned it?” was so in-line with my old way of thinking that I completely understood what she meant by it. For so long I felt as though I needed to earn my time off; that I could rest once the hard work once done. But here’s the thing and it’s that good old cheesy line of You Can’t Give From An Empty Cup. I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I’ve identified within me the need to strike a balance between “I’ll just do that thing now and then it’s done” and “rest now so that you have more energy later” and taking a week off before I needed it was exactly that.
It felt strange to have reached my week off with some energy left over but as a result, I didn't need to spend that time recharging my batteries, because they weren't completely drained. Typically, I would spend the first day or two of a holiday doing “nothing”. Usually this looked like reading in bed and I would feel as though I’d earned the right to stay in bed all day because I would be exhausted; physically, mentally and emotionally. But doing nothing is a double-edged sword. After a day of doing nothing, I would reach the evening and feel restless. Then I’d start to feel as though I’d wasted a day by not doing anything productive. Then I’d start to feel guilty. Does any of this sound familiar? Can you relate?
And this brings me to another point; active rest. Not all rest and relaxation has to be done sitting down, in fact, for some people (me included) not being engaged in an activity can feel the opposite of relaxing. There’s an argument in there about learning to be still and not feel the need to always be doing something but I’ll revisit that in a later post. The point here is that rest and relaxation can also look like doing things and that’s what that week off in April looked like for me. My two best friends came to visit me and we spent four days together doing lovely things. We went for walks with the dogs, we went kayaking, we went to the beach and we ate great food. I even started my week off with a 6km run, the first run I’d done in 8 months and something I’d been wanting to do for ages. And it felt good.
Going into my week off not feeling run down and exhausted meant I could fully enjoy my time off and spend that time replenishing my cup with quality time and fun activities. And because I was busy every day, it made the week feel longer too. I’ve been known to lose a whole day to Netflix before now, and I can guarantee you that that time would have felt less restorative than a day sightseeing.
Now we're at the end of June and I've just got back from another week off and this one was even better than the first. I had my first "proper" holiday as an adult, by which I mean that I booked hotels to stay at and planned activities for me and Watson to do. What's more, this was my first ever romantic long-weekend away as well and I'm still on cloud nine. I've come back from my week off so happy and fulfilled that I feel ready to tackle the very busy summer period ahead of me and at the same time I'm incredibly excited to plan my next holiday, now that I know how much fun they can be.
I feel as though I've finally learned the importance of rest and have experienced first-hand how taking care of yourself first means that you can better serve others. With that in mind, I'm ready for the summer and the abundance it brings, but at the same time being mindful to take the time to rest when I can before recharging my batteries fully over the winter.
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